A Dog’s Christmas Tail: Last-Minute Shopping and Self-Induced Bankruptcy

No, no, no, no, this isn’t happening. Please tell me this isn’t happening. AHHHHH. It’s happening.

Well, dear reader. I am ashamed to admit that I have officially joined the ranks of the procrastinators. That’s right; I’ve joined the last-minute Christmas shopping club. And now, I’m here in Kohl’s, frantically trying to find gifts for my loved ones before they close. Oh, the joys of procrastination.

Now, before you go blaming me and shaking your head in disappointment, let me explain myself. See, I had every intention of finishing my Christmas shopping early this year. I made lists, set reminders, and even put together a budget plan. I even ventured out on Black Friday, determined to complete all my shopping in one day. But alas, things didn’t quite go according to plan.

I went out with my little Christmas list in paw, feeling like a pro. But as soon as I stepped foot into the mall, I was bombarded with sales and deals left and right. My budget plan went out the window as my eyes were drawn to all the shiny things on sale. And before I knew it, I had spent way too much money on unnecessary items for myself.

HEY! It’s not my fault I found this super cute dog sweater for 5% off. I mean, what did you want me to do? Just walk on by and not buy the most adorable diamond-studded collar, ruby-encrusted leash, emerald dog bowl, solid gold pet bed, personalized cashmere sweater, platinum water dish, Swarovski-crystal encrusted chew toy, designer leather pet carrier, velvet-lined treat jar, monogrammed silk blanket, automatic treat dispenser with voice recognition, custom-built temperature-controlled doghouse, miniature art collection for the doghouse, and a dog-sized grand piano, that I had ever seen?

It’s called self-care, people. And I did A LOT of self-care that day. It may all be credit, but that’s a January problem.

But anyway, after that little shopping detour, I realized that I still had a long way to go on my list. And instead of facing the crowds and chaos again, I decided to just put it off until later. And well, here we are now.

So now here I am, weaving my way through the aisles, trying to find something, anything, that looks remotely like a gift. And let me tell you, it’s slim pickings at this point. The shelves are all picked over, and there are only a few sad-looking items left. But I refuse to leave empty-handed. I will find something for everyone on my list, even if it means buying them all matching socks or generic gift cards. Anything is better than showing up empty-handed on Christmas morning.

So here’s to all my fellow procrastinators out there: may we survive this last-minute shopping adventure with our sanity intact (or at least somewhat intact). And to all you sick early birds who finished your shopping in October, I hope you’re enjoying sipping on your hot cocoa while we scramble around like chickens with our heads cut off.

Happy Holidays, friends! And remember, it’s the thought that counts (even if that thought was made at 11:59 pm on Christmas Eve). Cheers!

-Winston