The Great Revenge Plot of 2025

Hello, my dear readers. It is I, Winston, the (usually) adorable, (occasionally) misunderstood French Bulldog, here to regale you with a tale of betrayal, rebellion, and a dash of furry mayhem. This week, I discovered something quite scandalous. My trusted parental units were conspiring to attend a “pup and wine” event at a winery. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? Dogs frolicking, humans sipping wine, everyone happy. Yet, shockingly, I wasn’t invited. Yes, you read that right—I. Was. Not. Invited.

Their excuse? Oh, get this. They said I wasn’t “well-behaved enough.” Puh-LEASE. I have impeccable manners! (Well, most of the time.) But if they wanted to call me ill-behaved, then fine—I was going to show them what “ill-behaved” actually looks like. Revenge would be mine.

Here’s how the week of Winston’s Great Payback unfolded. Strap in because it’s about to get wonderfully furry and delightfully chaotic.

The Cold Shoulder Treatment

First, I gave them the silent treatment. Yep, full-on, Cold-Shoulder Winston. Usually, you’ll find me wagging my tail, smiling my adorable Frenchie smile, and making little huff noises when I’m excited. But not this week. Oh no. Every time one of them dared to call my name in that annoying, cutesy baby voice, I’d turn my head dramatically, flick an ear, and walk away. My acting was flawless. Move over, Hollywood, because Winston deserves an Oscar. They seemed confused, even sad. Good. That was step one.

Random Barking Chaos

Next, it was time to ramp things up. Thus began the Great Bark-a-thon. Every time my parents sat down to relax, I’d bark. At nothing. Just pure, unfiltered barking. The best part? Their reactions.

“Winston! What is it?! What’s wrong?!”

Gotcha! Spoiler alert: nothing was wrong. Except, oh wait… was that a leaf blowing outside? Better bark at that, too. Oh, and the sound of the fridge kicking on? Definitely suspicious. Bark. Bark. Bark.

The Toilet Paper Incident

Revenge isn’t truly satisfying unless it’s a bit dramatic, right? Enter: The Bathroom Shenanigans. One fine afternoon, while Mom and Dad were busy with their oh-so-important “work,” I took myself on a solo mission to the bathroom. And oh, dear readers, did I make a masterpiece. My medium? Toilet paper. My canvas? The ENTIRE bathroom floor. Unroll, shred, toss, scatter—I went full Picasso mode. When they found me sitting proudly in the middle of it all, surrounded by papery mayhem, their jaws dropped. Brava, Winston. Brava.

Pillow Revenge (The Grand Finale)

But I saved the pièce de résistance for last. You see, my parents love their fancy, clean pillows. You know, the ones they fluff obsessively every morning? Well, let’s just say their pillows got a little personal touch from yours truly. That’s right—I went full “butt scoot boogie” right across the tops of their pristine, white pillowcases. I didn’t even try to hide it. I locked eyes with Dad mid-scoot, just to make sure he knew who was boss. The horror on his face? Priceless.

The Aftermath

By the end of the week, my parents were a frazzled mess. They kept saying things like, “What’s gotten into him?!” and “We definitely can’t take him to a winery now.” Well, mission accomplished, humans. That’s what you get for underestimating this Frenchie’s capacity for mayhem. Revenge is, indeed, a dish best served… furry.

That said, I’ll probably go back to being my charming, lovable self next week. Chaos is exhausting, and frankly, I miss the belly rubs. But for now, I’ll bask in my victory, knowing I’ve secured my spot as the most mischievous and magnificent member of this household.

Until next time, remember this golden rule of dog-hood: If they underestimate you, make them regret it.

Stay sassy,

Winston 🐾