Winston: The Haunted House Survivor

BOO!

HAHA! I got you, dear reader. You should’ve seen the look on your silly little face. I would say it made my day, but I have some big plans in store that I know are going to be awesome. So hang on tight to your witch hat and sit your butt down on your broom because I’m about to take you on a doozy of a ride.

As you know, we are now officially a week and a day out from the best holiday of the year: Halloween. After a brief interlude of existential crisis and tooting of my own horn, it’s time to focus my attention back on what really matters, and that’s making this Halloween the most spooktacular Halloween of all.

Now you may be wondering: haven’t you already done that? Because, yes, you would be right, dear reader. I have already made some decent headway. I’ve decorated the office all spooky, barked endlessly at fake skeletons until I had my parents begging me to stop, scarfed down so many pumpkin treats that my poop turned orange, and I’ve even started brainstorming what my costume is going to be (spoiler alert: I’m torn between two options). What I haven’t done yet, though, is scare anyone.

Yes, dear reader. You were only the beginning of my long line of planned victims. And don’t worry, I’m not talking about anything too traumatizing or cruel. Just some good old-fashioned scares that will have everyone jumping and laughing at the same time. Because, let’s be honest, Halloween is all about the spooks and the laughs.

The only problem is, is that I clearly don’t have a whole lot of experience. I need my scares to really pack a punch, you know? So, I have decided to go to my very first haunted house to see how it’s done. The only way for me to learn is to observe the masters. If that means I have to put myself through a night of terror, then so be it. I am willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good of making this Halloween a memorable one.

Wish me luck, dear reader. I’m going in.

1 Hour Later

Oh, dear reader, I have returned, albeit more shaken than a can of spooky Halloween soda! If I had anything more than a stub for a tail, believe me, it would be tucked so far between my legs that I’d trick myself into thinking I was a kangaroo. One would imagine that a critter with my level of enthusiasm for all things eerie would thrive in a haunted house. But no! I was scared so bad, I might need a little therapy – puppy therapy, that is! Ghosts to the left, zombies to the right, and a vampire who somehow knew my name! Winston whispered with such sinister intent I thought I might howl out of my fur. It was like being trapped in a ghastly blender, and I was the unwelcome smoothie! This night of terror was absolutely horrifying, the stuff of nightmares, or in my case, tail-wagging-daymares-gone-wrong. It’s a relief to be out, but I’m all the wiser now; these folks are the real scare maestros.

I don’t know how I’ll ever top this experience, but you can bet your bottom bone that I’m going to try. Halloween is coming, and this pup is not going to let a little thing like fear get in the way of having the time of my life. So look out, world! The spookiest, funniest, most terrifying dog that weighs less than 20 pounds is ready to make some mischief. And I hope you’ll join me for all the treats and tricks along the way. After all, what’s Halloween without a little bit of fright and a whole lot of laughter?

Muahahaha!

Winston