Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Hello, I guess, dear reader. It’s Winston, the French bulldog, who writes to you each week. Sorry for the lack of pep this week, but it’s a little hard to be my glamorous and radiant self when I’m officially living in eternal darkness. Why? Because humans, in their infinite wisdom, decided that it’s a good idea to move the clocks back an hour every year. Oh yes, Daylight Saving Time is back, and it sucks harder than a vacuum cleaner on turbo mode.

Here’s the deal: I wake up, it’s dark. I drag my perfectly petite paws to the office, it’s dark. I leave at the end of the day, and— you guessed it—it’s pitch black AGAIN. Sunlight? What sunlight? My magnificent fur has been robbed of its golden-hour glow, dear reader! Gone are the days of strutting out of work under a glorious blue sky. Now, I’m just a shadow in the night, a defeated pup scuttling home without even a single sunbeam to light my path. It’s infuriating!

My Failed Revenge Plan

I know what you’re thinking, dear reader. Why haven’t I already taken a stand against this injustice with some good old-fashioned revenge? Well, I tried. And I’m sorry to say I failed.

As soon as the clocks changed, I started plotting. My plan? To track down whoever came up with this awful idea and pee in their shoes. Yep, I was ready to get petty. Those imbeciles were going to rue the day. But after digging through countless books, I realized there’s no single person to blame. Turns out, a bunch of you dense humans thought this was a good idea. “It’ll save energy,” they said. “It’ll give people more daylight in the summer,” they argued. Sure, smart guy, until winter hits, and suddenly, it’s pitch black at 5 PM.

Worse still, most of the people responsible for this mess are long gone. Benjamin Franklin was one of the first to suggest the concept of Daylight Saving Time, and, well… he’s been dead for centuries. So, despite my best efforts, I had no one to take revenge on. Just the void.

A Plea for Sanity

So here I am, dear reader, writing to you from the depths of my frustration and lack of sunshine. I’ve complained before about Daylight Saving Time, and this won’t be the last time either. Until humanity collectively decides to abolish this ridiculous tradition, I’ll grumble about it. Every. Single. Year.

You do have the power to help, though. Write letters, bark at your local representatives (or maybe don’t bark — that’s my job), do whatever it takes to ensure we never have to suffer these dark evenings again. If not for me, do it for yourselves. You could use some sunlight, too, you pasty, two-legged creatures.

Until next week, stay bright, stay pawsome, and for the love of squeaky toys, let’s get rid of Daylight Saving Time forever.

Yours in glorious outrage,

Winston 🐾