Winston’s Wild New Year Adventure: Grapes, Fireworks, and a Whole Lot of Chaos!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

Well, dear reader, another year is officially here, and you probably won’t be surprised to hear that your favorite pup has already started it out with a bang. Let’s rewind, shall we?

It all started about five hours ago while I was getting ready for my family’s New Year’s party. I was staring at my dapper reflection in the mirror, thinking about everything that’s happened in the past year. My first year of life had been pretty solid, what with plenty of valiant attempts of world domination and vigilantism, but still, I was determined to do this whole New Year’s thing right. I mean, they say how you start your year sets the tone for the next 12 months, and considering I’m technically only one year old, I figured I needed to go big. So, I decided I was going to try every New Year’s tradition for good luck that I could find. Yes, even the strange ones.

First up was eating 12 grapes, which is apparently a Spanish tradition. I may have gotten a bit carried away and almost choked on grape number six, but hey, no one said good luck was easy to come by. Then my mother informed me that grapes are actually really bad for dogs, so I had to make myself throw them all up. Not the most auspicious start, but I pushed on.

Then came the Dutch tradition of setting off firecrackers to ward off evil spirits – let’s just say my humans were not pleased with me for that one. But I made up for it by jumping over every threshold in the house three times, which is supposed to bring happiness and prosperity.

Next up was writing down my wishes for the new year on pieces of paper and burning them while they turned into ashes (a German tradition). I had high hopes for this one, considering I’m pretty talented at destroying things and love a good fire. But after the third wish, I got a little carried away and accidentally set my paw on fire. Note to self: next time, let’s try this one outside.

After that minor mishap, I decided it was time for some positive vibes and did the Greek tradition of smashing pomegranates on New Year’s Eve – apparently, it symbolizes abundance and fertility. Let’s just say there was a lot of red juice involved, but hey, at least my humans were entertained!

Then, the moment we’d all been waiting for came: the countdown to midnight. Now, I didn’t fully understand what was going on at first. Everyone was glued to the TV, watching a big shiny ball drop in a place called Times Square. I thought they meant an actual ball was coming into the house, so naturally, I started barking like mad, tail wagging in full turbo mode, waiting for my new toy. Spoiler alert: no ball ever showed up. I’m filing a formal complaint.

Finally, the clock struck midnight. I jumped on the couch, jumped into my humans’ laps, jumped on the table – you get the idea. Oh, and then there was the traditional kiss – don’t worry, it was just a quick one between me and my favorite chew toy.

After the room settled down, we realized we were all hungry. And what’s a New Year’s celebration without food? For one last New Year’s tradition, I decided to indulge in some delicious pork and sauerkraut (another German tradition), which is supposed to bring abundance and good luck in the new year. It was delicious, but unfortunately, my tummy decided to celebrate the new year in its own uh, fragrant way. I cleared the room faster than you can say, “air freshener.” People were fanning their faces, coughing, and even leaving the room. I thought I might’ve ruined the night until I realized my humans were laughing so hard they were crying. So maybe, in a way, I brought joy? Lesson learned, though—pork and Winston don’t mix.

Now, as I’m curled up in my dog bed, belly full (but not too full—no more pork for me), I can’t help but think about how excited I am to see what this year has in store. I may only be one year old, but I’m ready to make this year the best one yet. With belly rubs, zoomies, and maybe a few less gassy snacks, anything is paw-sible.

Here’s to a new year, friends. May your days be full of love, laughter, and only the tiniest bit of chaos—because, let’s be real, life’s more fun that way. Cheers!

-Winston