A Long Time Ago on a French Bulldog Dating Site Far Far Away

It is a period of frustration. Winston, your noble, world-dominating pup, has just entered the Frenchie dating scene in the hopes of finding a partner to rule over his inferiors with. His profile has been made, his picture has been set, and he has carefully crafted a bio that showcases his many impressive qualities.

But alas, the responses have been lackluster at best. Despite Winston’s undeniable charm and charisma, he has yet to find a suitable mate who can match his level of greatness.

Undeterred, Winston continues to swipe through profiles with determination and perseverance. He knows deep down that there is someone out there for him, a fellow French Bulldog who will appreciate his regal nature and join him in his quest to put down those ridiculous jokes of dogs they call Yorkies . . .

Hey guys – it’s me, Winston. Sorry for the strangely intense, yet incredibly epic intro this Wednesday. I am hard at work finding my soulmate and don’t have a bunch of time to bark. So, instead of me spinning an awesome tale, I am instead going to let you take a peek at some of the recent conversations I’ve had to see if you can tell me where I’m going wrong. Then maybe, just maybe, I’ll take some pointers. Maybe.

Conversation 1:

Winston: Hello there, fellow superior canine. I saw your profile photo and I couldn’t help but notice you bear a striking resemblance to my next girlfriend. Can I take you out sometime?

Potential Mate: Hi Winston. Haha you seem like a very charming and handsome pup. I would love to meet up with you for some treats and a walk around the park. 🙂

Winston: Wonderful. I just know we will be the strongest French Bulldog couple in the world. WE WILL DOMINATE THOSE OTHER DOGS.

Potential Mate: …

Conversation 2:

Winston: Hey girl, are you the moon? Cause I’d like to howl at you all night long.

Potential Mate: Um, sorry but I don’t really get it. Can you explain?

Winston: Never mind, just forget I said anything. sigh Not everyone can appreciate my clever wit and romantic gestures.

Conversation 3:

Winston: Greetings! Are you a fan of explaining to other dog breeds why they are inferior to our kind?

Potential Mate: Actually, my brother is a Beagle. I think you’d like him, though. 🙂

Winston: A Beagle?! Blocks immediately

So, as you can see, things aren’t exactly going as planned with my online dating ventures. But fear not, I will continue to persevere and one day find the perfect match for me. In the meantime, I’ll just keep swiping and practicing my pick-up lines. After all, a true ruler never gives up on his quest for love and dominance. So here’s to all my fellow Frenchie singles out there – keep on wagging and never settle for anything less than the best.

May the Tail Wag Be With You

– Winston